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Jul 06

Communication is key

A Guy’s perspective

EdRuiz The Word Is…June Edition

As I sat in Tires Plus waiting for my car to be aligned the last Saturday in June, I was thinking I should get some work done. I was tired and not really supposed to be up that early in the morning…but I digress. So I set up my phone and while trying to set up my tablet to work on my blog, I find myself engaged in conversation with a gentleman who is also waiting to get work done on his daughters car. We start talking about the economy, the proposed prices on a new section of toll road,  that was blaring across the tv they have in the lobby. We talked about working and living in Florida and finally get around to my favorite subject. Marriage.

About this time a woman about my age comes in and catches the tale end of the conversation and kind of snorts ruefully when she realizes we are talking about marriage and relationships. I was a little dismayed and figured she was probably still hurting from a relationship. Turns out she was a young widow.  I hope to be able to speak to her again soon so I can bring you real perspective on that type of loss and how she dealt with it.

Honestly, I cannot remember how we got around to it but I was running on Racetrac coffee and little sleep. I perked up though when he said he has been married for 26 years. No rings. No annual celebration just love and a deep commitment to one another. He says he works hard and she works hard. I believe he said he was in construction and she was in the medical field.  ( I actually started writing this blog on my wonderful Samsung S4 and the pics were taken by me taking pictures of his phone screen.)

Guess I will never be a journalist….That’s why I am a notary, a wedding officiant, and now a part time blogger.)

26 years. Wow, that’s awesome, I respond. Feeling a little emboldened, I ask… So what would you tell other couples who want to have longevity in marriage. Before I share his nuggets of advice, I would like to sincerely thank Edwin Ruiz of Oviedo for willing speaking to a stranger and being proud of his relationship with his wife Lee. I wish you both many more years of bliss!

  • He says don’t expect every day to be perfect. Ride out the hard days and enjoy the good days.
  • Talk all the time. Communication is key.
  • Trust and respect is a huge factor.
  • Have fun and a sense of humor. Create a bond.
  • Disappear together. They both have Harley Davidson motorcycles (purchased in Sanford Florida) and he says they go riding often.
  • Always be there for your partner. Don’t throw your partner under the bus to make yourself look better. This was one of those things they had to work on personally.
  • Be able to admit when you are wrong.
  • He advised to have the ability to make small sacrifices. He says he is not a dancer but will dance for her. Have stuff you do together together. Not just for yourself, but for each other.

I could tell he was still very much in love with her as he showed me pictures of them together from his phone. There was a twinkle in his eye and a smile at the corner of his mouth. You know the little tells people have that you use to gauge their authenticity. He graciously let me snap a few of them off of his phone for my blog.

EdnLeeRuiz EdnLeeRuizwBike

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the time we were nearing the end of the conversation even the young woman from earlier was asking his advice on starting over, being safe to date again.

 

 

This is a 49 year old guy. So when they got together they were both young enough to make all the mistakes, and figure out what works and what doesn’t along the way.  I know this isn’t the end all be all and maybe you have heard these same tidbits before. If you have, then you know by now there must be something to it. If you haven’t then maybe something Edwin said will work for you.

What positive tidbits of advice do you have that you use in your relationship or marriage?

As bad as I did not want to spend the morning at a car shop, I felt blessed that I was able to meet such remarkable people and come away with something interesting to share. Life can be challenging at times for me but times like this remind me that I am kind of living a charmed and blessed life.

 

Also I would like to thank the guys at Tires Plus in Oviedo for getting me in and out in record time and for a lower price than what I was going to be charged at Tire Kingdom.. The alignment has helped so much.

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