Jun 26

It’s not your day

white flowerThe Word Is…. June Editions

It’s your wedding day. The bride, the groom. It’s their  big day, the ultimate form of PDA. This is where people willing go to celebrate and expect lots of affection. They expect to see happy tears, congratulations and fabulous one of a kind wedding ideas.

A little candid Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Etiquette 101

Warning: If you are a sensitive bridesmaid, bestman or guest stop reading now.

What they don’t expect to see is your bridesmaids hamming it up every opportunity they get. Trying to steal the spotlight.  Laughing inappropriately at the bride during her ceremony and being disruptive during the picture taking process. I could almost understand if these women were in their young 20 somethings but these ladies were well past their prime and were more unruly and uncouth than toddlers in day camp.

Nope, the bride, doesn’t expect that the ones they invited, thought were special enough to be included in their meaningful day to sabotage the wedding ceremony. I mean seriously, who laughs during a spiritual reading? Who points out flaws on the bride while she is getting married? and doesn’t even try to be discreet. I have always heard of Bridesmaids Behaving Badly but never experienced it first hand until recently.

In fact, I have been blessed to only see one bride totally explode during a wedding rehearsal at her planner in all  of the 8+ years I have been officiating weddings. Most of my brides stew quietly at vendors when not happy until they can get them alone, and still hold onto their dignity and composure.

I have seen bridesmaids a little teary eyed with jealousy, wondering when they will meet Mr Right but even they were appropriately discreet.

So I would just like to remind you future bridesmaids and Maids of Honor. Your role is important to the bride. She is (hopefully) picking from the finest women in her life. She needs you to be all in for her during her wedding prep period thru her reception. If you have ill will towards the bride, kindly refuse the role.  If you are a groom’s relative and only a bridesmaid due to nepotism, don’t do it if you don’t truly have the bride’s best interest at heart. Weddings are not the stage for revenge.

Don’t show up late. It’s one day …for a few hours. You usually know the date and time from a few months to a few years in advance. It’s not cool to have everyone waiting on you. This goes for bridal party members and guests. If you are the BM or the MOH, get your tookis down to the venue early if you have to, but don’t be late. You are the couple’s wing man and woman. They usually feel that they cannot start without you.

If you are a guest and see the wedding has already started be as inconspicuous as possible. Head to a seat behind everyone else, don’t stand there in the middle of everyone looking like a deer in headlights. Your actions take away the guests attention from the bride and groom, who are busy getting married.

Know when your 15 minutes of fame is up. Don’t extend your reading beyond what was discussed and don’t ad lib for attention. Put it in the toast later at the reception. Ceremonies are usually tightly scheduled to allow for more time to party and take pictures. A long ceremony made even longer can spoil the experience. Especially when the guests have already been waiting in the hot sun for you to arrive.

Honestly put some thought into what you are wearing if the bride is lax on the fashion. Think, rethink and think again before you wear that outfit. If in doubt don’t wear it or ask someone who is not afraid to be honest.

Part of the role of the bridesmaids entails enduring a possibly bad fashion choice, but even that is few and far between in weddings now. Shoes that may be uncomfortable, standing in the hot sun or the cold weather, walking with the guy that has stinky breath or boinked your sister, and helping to stuff the bride into her wedding dress after one too many breakfast pastries. The bride should have the relief of knowing she could count on you down to borrowing your spanx if necessary.  Groomsmen, talk to the groom with respect. Help to usher him into his new life role with positive encouragement, don’t drink too much prior to the ceremony and definitely be respectful to the bride.

Be a good member of the bridal party, someone thought highly enough of you to include you into the royalty of the wedding ceremony known as the bridal party, and remember hun, it is not YOUR day. Bless your heart.

I love weddings!


Wedding Officiant, Blogger and Amateur Photographer
By Sheri Thomson I DO Weddings by Sheri PO BOX 780395 Orlando Florida 32878