Dec 29

Not inviting a family member to your wedding

white flower The Word Is…December edition 

You are not invited to the wedding, aunt, sister, brother, father, mother, uncle…

Our families. We cannot choose them. We cannot really escape our lineage. But on your wedding day, There tends to be an unending parade of relatives who expect to be invited, included, and listened to. Many times they lose sight of the fact that it is indeed your wedding day and not their’s. On a good note, they also come bearing years of traditional advice, happy sentiment and sometimes emotional gifts like a special handkerchief handed down from one generation to the next. Special family recipes and even in some instances, the wedding dress that is centuries out of style.

Unfortunately some families come with emotional, and physical drama. How do you reconcile with that? Like the brother you may not be very close to or the father that was never there or the relative that may have abused you. The cousin that is always broke and looking for a handout …the first one to arrive with no gift and the last to leave and take leftovers. The drunk aunt who ruins every holiday gathering or celebration, the new  younger girlfriend or boyfriend of your now separated parents. The sister that always looked down on you and undermines every happy moment. While not the shiny, perky, happy conversations we wish to have when thinking about relationships and weddings, these are real life dilemmas that some couples face.

 The decision not to invite family members is always hard and emotional. You can choose to invite them under your terms, knowing there will be a large chance that they will not come (clear conscience) or you can choose to not invite them and take the chance that there may be a small twinge of regret every time you think back on your wedding day. Or worse yet family members taking sides on the issue.

If you know they can’t afford to travel consider setting up a Skype,  Google hang out,  Facebook Face time, Oovoo, or any of the other popular video chats  so they can attend from home. Make sure their mics are muted and enjoy your day!

Even though we cannot choose our family, be it bad or good, there is an elemental need in most of us to want to have the happy family memories. Getting married is a huge life event and when it comes down to it, there will hopefully be no do overs. Search your heart, do what is right for you.



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Wedding Officiant, Blogger and Amateur Photographer
By Sheri Thomson I DO Weddings by Sheri PO BOX 780395 Orlando Florida 32878