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Dec 29

The Engagement

white flowerThe Word Is… December edition

You are Engaged! Awesome Sauce!

One of the most popular times to get engaged is over the holidays. Commonly known as engagement season, between November and February each year more couples are popped the question to than any other time of the year. Possibly because this is a time when family gets together ordinarily and it can be incorporated into the festiveness of the holidays.

Most couples and wedding industry pros would say that the wedding engagement period should be no longer than two years.  Primarily because two years or longer is a long time to wait for payment for their service. Second, there is a huge chance that the relationship could change or the needs of the couple. And lastly, the couple may not be interested in any more than price shopping if the actual date is far in the future because, well, quite frankly, they have time. The wedding industry likes to look at the engagement period as the start of your wedding planning period. Some even describe the engagement as the time to engage in planning your wedding.

In actuality, there is no given time length for an engagement. Just because the industry wants you to believe it should only be two years or less, many successful couples want a firm commitment and have goals they wish to reach together and singly before marrying. I have watched many couples be engaged for a few years as they finished school, cleared up their credit, saved money together for a more lavish event or a dream come true honeymoon, to buy a home, wait for a specific age, took time to grieve the loss of a previous spouse or get over a divorce and other responsible goals and got married without the additional stress of debt or emotional baggage and are still happily married to this day. A marriage is still about the two of you for the long term. It’s exciting to get engaged and very easy to get carried away in the hype of the wedding day.

Many brides want the lavish experiences that are portrayed in wedding magazines, websites and on wedding shows. There are even grooms who want that huge event. Some couples, however,  only need a quiet, intimate space and the love of their life. There is nothing wrong with the way you choose to express your wedding day and reception, as long as you are happy. The most important thing is that you are happy and in it together, so if it takes you longer to plan or shorter, don’t worry. In the end it’s about the two of you.

 Separating myth from fact about engagements…Some tips…

Don’t feel that you have to rush into marriage once you are engaged because that is what everyone else is expecting.

Breaking off an engagement is much cheaper than getting divorced.

It’s ok to say no if you are not ready.

Communicate with one another about your expectations for the engagement and essentially for your married life thereafter.

Take the time you need to be engaged

Consider an intimate commitment ceremony if you are not ready for the real deal yet.  Some states are recognizing domestic partners.

Don’t feel that the proposal has to be a Youtube production. Couples still enjoy the intimacy of the proposal and don’t always need strangers weighing in on your special moment. But hey, if that is part of your personality and you are a social media, couple go for it!

Many weddings are planned two years to a year from the date of the engagement. Most wedding planning kits only have a year long schedule.  So it is a common misconception that one is not engaged if they have a long engagement period.

Google defines engagement as:

en·gage·ment
inˈɡājmənt,enˈɡājmənt/
noun
1.
a formal agreement to get married.
synonyms: marriage contract; More
the duration of an agreement to get married.
“a good long engagement to give you time to be sure”
2.
an arrangement to do something or go somewhere at a fixed time.
“a dinner engagement”

Merriam Webster defines Engagement

en·gage·ment noun \in-ˈgāj-mənt, en-\
: an agreement to be married : the act of becoming engaged or the state of being engaged to be married

: a promise to meet or be present at a particular place and time

 

Here are some interesting proposals if you are planning an engagement surprise

 


Sh3ba

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Wedding Officiant, Blogger and Amateur Photographer
By Sheri Thomson I DO Weddings by Sheri PO BOX 780395 Orlando Florida 32878