Choosing whether or not to include a memorial portion in your wedding ceremony is a deeply personal decision. While your day should be all about love and happiness and fun, there are many couples that have experienced a loss of someone close, important and highly valued. Perhaps your day would not be complete without them there. Their life lessons helped shape who you are. They never got a chance to walk you down the aisle as you imagined. They did not get to make your wedding cake as you had always planned or weren’t there when you picked your wedding gown or tux.
When doing a bridal consultation I usually ask about this choice, last. I recognize it is a very thin balance as weddings are an emotional event. Some brides have cried hysterically at the thought of the loss while others have decided not to include this element at all, opting for a fresh start or just not a necessary part of their day. Some have been elated that I would suggest or remember to inquire about something this uniquely sentimental.
There are several ways to incorporate just a touch of a memorial element into your wedding, keeping it tasteful and fulfilling the need to honor passed loved ones. Below is a small collection of ideas.
One of the most popular options for my brides is having their florist provide additional long stem roses they can lay on empty chairs as the are escorted up the aisle or put on a table that may have a memorial candle and pictures of the passed loved ones.
Suggestions accompanying a candle lighting
your officiant can incorporate the following words after a candle has been lit at some point during the ceremony,
1. We light this candle
so that we might
bring you here awhile,
as we remember your bright flame,
your laughter and your smile
2. Softly the leaves of memory fall.
Gently we gather, treasure them all.
Some may forget now that you are gone,
we will remember (you or name)
no matter how long.
3. We wish you could be with us on this very special day,
’cause you were like a ray of sun
before you went away. Forever Remembered
Forever Loved Forever Missed
The Day God Called You Home
God looked around His garden
And He found an empty place.
And then He looked down upon the earth,
And saw your tired face.
He put His arms around you,
And lifted you to rest.
God’s garden must be beautiful,
He always takes the best.
He saw the road was getting rough,
And the hills were hard to climb,
So He closed your weary eyelids,
And whispered “Peace be thine.”
It broke our hearts to lose you.
But you didn’t go alone,
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.
In Our Hearts
For those who are
in our hearts on our Wedding day and always
bless us in spirit as we begin our new life together
Although we can’t see you…
Although we can’t see you
we know you are here,
watching over us
as we say “I do”.
Forever in our hearts
Forever in our lives
and so we say our vows
in loving memory of you.
You’ve Always Been a Part of Me
You’ve always been a part of me
right from the very start
creating treasured memories
tucked deep within my heart
I’ll think of you often
and remember you with love,
continue to look after me
as always, from above.
I am the resurrection
and the life
he who believes in me,
even if he dies, shall live;
and whoever lives and
believes in me, shall never die.
In God’s Care
In God’s care you rest above,
in our hearts you rest with love,
Memories of you are ours to keep,
Our words are few but our love is deep.
Suggestions for a memorial butterfly release
your officiant can incorporate the following words after or as butterflies have been released at some point during the ceremony,
A Butterfly Hovers Closely
A butterfly hovers closely
And then quickly moves away,
Swiftly going where so ever
Her heart may freely say.
A butterfly lowers and rises
With the winds’s gusty breath,
As if coupled within a dance
Of a loving tenderness.
The butterfly only knows
How it feels to have wings,
To kiss the petals of flowers
In such elegant flitterings.
To have but one moment
Of such an exquisite flight,
Would be like a dream
Where all seems so right.
A Butterfly Lights Beside Us
A butterfly lights beside us, like a sunbeam…
and for a brief moment it’s glory
and beauty belong to our world…
but then it flies on again, and although
we wish it could have stayed,
we are so thankful to have seen it at all.
in the sky.
Kiss me with your
Tell of spring.
Yesterday a butterfly
Came floating gently through the sky.
He soared up through the atmosphere
Then drifted close enough to hear.
I said, “I’d love to fly with you
And sail around the way you do.
It looks like it would be such fun
To fly up toward the summer sun.
But I have not your graceful charm.
I haven’t wings, just these two arms.
I’ve been designed to walk around.
My human feet must touch the ground.
Then magically he spoke to me
and told me what his wish would be.
He said, “What I’d love most to do
Is walk upon God’s Earth with you,
To squish it’s mud between my toes
Or touch my finger to my nose.
I’d love just once to walk around
With human feet to touch the ground,
But I have not two legs that swing,
I haven’t arms, just these two wings.”
And so we went our separate ways
In wonder and surprise.
For we’d both seen God’s precious gifts
Through someone else’s eyes.
There are tons of other inspiration on the web or as close as your heart. However you choose to recognize the ones that have left this world is uniquely up to you. Happy Planning!
By Sheri Thomson I DO Weddings by Sheri PO BOX 780395 Orlando Florida 32878 407-375-3258