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Jun 03

Why can’t we be like them?

white flower

The Word Is…June Edition

“At times we pride ourselves on what we have and don’t have in relationships”-Jay

Enjoy this guest blogger’s post on youthful relationships

 

 


boygirlissues We look at other couples and say “why can’t we be like them?” We look from the outside of other people’s relationships and think for a moment that they are better, but in reality we really don’t know. Most of the time we stop a good relationship to pursue what we think is better.

We grow up thinking that being girlfriends and boyfriends is just holding hands and sneaking kisses when no one is looking. We are not always offered a guide that says relationships sometimes can end in fairy-tales or sometimes in heart break. When we are between the ages of 9-13 we go off of trends. We mimic what we see others do- like my friend has a boyfriend/girlfriend so we want one. So we say hey I like him/her so lets be together. Then your friends want to introduce sex and sometimes we say no and other times we say…okay lets try it; not knowing the possibilities… that it can really open your eyes to good or bad things.

Often we put ourselves in these so called relationships without thinking and when its over we find ourselves losing our minds; because we sacrificed so much into a person that we give up on things we want in life.

Maybe one day we can find that relationships isn’t about what a person looks like, or what they have to offer, but if they are really here for me?

Can they love me through all the trials and tribulations that we put the other through in the beginning, especially if we just got out of one of those extreme break ups and we get someone also known as “rebound” which is the person we find comfort from while we try to put the pieces together. Rebounds are usually temporary and in a very rare circumstances end up being “the one”.

How many can relate to their first heartbreak? Mine was at the age of 16 when I met the first like of my life. He was cute, smart and could dress well. Our relationship was perfect for me at that age, we held hands, during sleepovers we laid next to each other and I was claimed as his. Like any other teenage boy who only wanted one thing, he left me for the first girl who gave It up. When she cheated on him he wanted to come back. But when he came back he gave me an ultimatum. ‘I’ ll get back with you if you date my cousin.” Stop, pause and lets think about it. Just because I’m young doesn’t mean I was stupid.

Yeah, it hurt that I had to do this for that, and we as humans find ourselves doing that in relationships. If I’m going to be with him/her then you have to date his friend? If he doesn’t give up any money then I’m not going to give him a second look.

Just because our relationships aren’t perfect doesn’t mean we cant be like what we assume other happy couples are like. Embrace the love that you have and stop worrying about the what if’s and the  why cants.

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– by Words from Jay

 


Guest Relationship Blog submitted by Words from Jay.  Jay has been writing creatively since middle school and has had some of her poetry and writing published online. She also has an interest in psychology. Now a young adult of 25, Jay enjoys writing in her spare time. She is currently going to school for culinary arts and is a Dorm leader at her facility and has former  training in mechanics.